The adventures of technician Zir
by Samuel May-bird
Summary: A few years after Zim's banishment to Earth another Irken is in trouble. The tech named Zir, who barely escapes the Armada. Now can he blend into the humans? Craziness, twists and Gir. ZaDr and ocxGaz. Mature in later chaps.


disclaimer, i do not own IZ. i DO own Zir, Zen, and their Computer. There will other characters, but that's later.

pictures of Zir and Zen are on my tumblr, Ask Trent or www. tumblr blog /samuelmay-bird just remove spacing

The small Irken jumps away as a laser is shot at him. He Sprint into his equipment room, "Computer! Send all to the ship and download yourself there, I'll meet you there. Hurry! Please!"

He jumps over the two Irken elite jammed in the threshold. The Control Brains droning on about his capture. The Tallest had found out he had been hacking into the main frame. He was labeled a defect and is now the most wanted tech of all Irk.

"Zen how is Computer's progress?"

A small click is heard in his PAK.

»SIR, COMPUTER DOWNLOAD IS 83% COMPLETE.«

Zir growls and slides into a vent.

"Zen...tell Computer to activate code V2K65 it should increase download speed. Hurry departure needs to be in 00:20 hours.

»YES MY MASTER«

"I need to work on your speech and AI chip..."

The sound of heavy boots break his concentration, sharp commands to find him barked very close to the vent. Zir' s PAK legs side out and he quickly flees up the vent shaft to the ship bay. The quiet hum of charging ships welcomes the small fugitive. Silently as he could, Zir' s PAK legs maneuvered him over Voot Cruisers and under larger Elite ships. One he slipped in, "Computer are you finished downloading?"

The ship turns on in response, Zir chirps and begins rapidly typing coordinates, "This was Zim's last coordinates this is where we're going...commencing start up.."

Quit and frantic key clacks fill the small space.

»MASTER, THREATS CLOSING IN«

"Hush Zen. Please I need to- there! Finished! Computer start the engines."

Soon the large ship lifts up and narrowly misses cannon fire from the massive. Harsh Irken swearing comes from Zir as he punches in the code for hyper drive. The Tallest watch as the rogue tech disappears into a newly formed wormhole.

"Red...do you think this was a good idea to do this to him?"

The normally anger Irken look to his partner with a sigh, "Yes Pur...it is. We nee to protect him, being he is our creation...now he'll be safe..."

"I'm getting in contact with Zim, he needs to know that Zir is coming."

Red turns away from the window and floats over the broken body of Zen. Purple picks it up and puts in the recycle chute.

"To destroy his SIR? He needed that little robot."

Red types silently into the computer, "We needed to make sure he had no reason to stay...and that's why I made sure Zen's chips weren't destroyed."

Purple stands besides Red as the words, Connect to Irken Invader Zim?, flash across the screen.

"Connect."

Zim blinks as he appears on screen, "My Tallest, you are calling me? What can I do for you?"

Purple swallows, "Zim...remember Zir well...he is coming your way."

-{+}-

It took three months for Earth to finally come into view. Zir was fast asleep, recharging his PAK for the task ahead. Finding his smeethood friend Zim, even if he wants nothing to do with him. The Computer alerts and turns his PAK into start up. Zir slowly wakes, "Computer...status?"

»Earth is in the radar, orders?«

For groans and rubs his eyes, "Locate Irken Invader Zim and find a large enough space to compensate for the ship's size..."

»Very well, sir«

Zir closes his eyes for a moment to wake himself up fully. Zen begins to gather data off a nearby satellite. Soon a slow flow of information fills his PAK.

»Sir, Invader Zim located. Along with a location for our ship.«

-Perfect, we'll set up and lay low for a few days-

"Computer, where is the location of the site?"

»3 miles outside of the city. Safe to land when the planet's star brings night«

"Very well, orbit till night falls...till then show me plans of building structures to conceal the ship."

A multitude of files explode across the screens. Zir combs through till one catches his attention.

"This one! A...barn...search barn."

»BARN. A BARN is the storage unit for a farm. A FARM is a country unit. Makes Earth food, raises Earth creatures like COWS, PIGS or GOATS.«

Zir continues to read about a farm. The creatures he begins to make plans on creating robots of them.

"Maybe...three of these 'cows', a pig?...and some goats."

He begins to design the base, silently drawing each detail as the Sun falls and night comes to city. He looks up as the ship begins to enter the atmosphere, "Computer go to the site, I will get in contact with Zim myself...ok?

»Affirmative«

"Computer, what creatures dominate this planet?"

»HUMANS, Irken like creatures with fur on their heads and pink skin. Look up files on HUMANS?«

"Yes, please"

Once more files pile on the screen, Zir pans through the files. Only two he seems interested in; one of a family and the other of 'outcasts'. As the ship descends, Zir sketches out human parental unit; one female. He didn't feel like dealing with two. He looks it over with a careful eye. Chirping happily with everything is perfect he places it in his PAK and watches as they fly across the city, the humans not bothering to even look up. He chuckles hollowly, his unconscious stress level raising. But as the ship flies a large forest he calms down once more. A big open field past the forest is their site for the base. Zir hops out and begins to add the sizes to his farm plans.

"Computer, using those human ´outcasts´ as reference, please make me a disguise..."

»Sure thing«

Zir chirps happily, only a few Irken techs know the old saying; Be nice to technology and technology will be nice to you. Zir lives by it, that was one of the reasons he was one of the best techs. As Computer works on his disguise, Zir places builders in key areas. He steps back to watch as each base piece is created soon the ship was safe in the barn and a huge network of tunnels were connecting the whole property together. Even robots animals milled about within their fences. He rubbed a robocow's nose and walked to the barn. His female parental unit opens it for him.

»krrrsshh...rrrrrk...ggrshk...«

Zir grips his Lekku in pain as the female incomplete communicator pierces the silence.

"COMPUTER! Shut her off!"

The robot face plants onto the floor, Zir places her onto a metal table under the ship.

"Computer...I need...hmmm...several voice chips and my powered tools, please."

A portal above him lowers his prized tools and a small stack of voice chips. He murmurs a thank you and opens up the robot, talons easily ripping out the fried chip. As he tests each chip, the Computer seems interested about the chips. Zir tests the final chip, a smooth and homey southern accented voice comes from the robot.

»Ooo...I like that one, it seems to fit well. Can I download that for myself?«

Zir looks up at the ship, "Sure why not, once I plug robomom in and transfer you to base you download from her. Does that mean I have call you by a different name...?"

»Sally, I'll take Sally«

Zir murmurs something under breath, "Very well, Sally, how is my disguise coming along?"

»It's finished«

Zir's face lights up as Compu-Sally shows him his choices, he scrolls idly. A glimpse of pink and he stopped, "This one, I like one, yes...very nice very human."

He presses the smiley face and immediately a pod around him. Zir is stripped naked, he eyes his scars for a mere moment before grey pants are put followed by white t-shirt and pink hoodie. He looks at himself, the hood covers his PAK easily. Next come the wig, fluffy with brown underneath black, shaved along the sides. It's placed on with care, sticking to his skin so it wouldn't come by accident. Pulling the edges in place Zir smiles softly, he looked intimidating yet approachable. His contacts were last, he chose on the bi colored pair and put them on.

"Ah! They're scratchy!"

He claws them off and hisses, "Sally, a smooth tool is needed."

-{+}-

It's been a week since Zim traced Zir´s ship but it disappeared after entering the atmosphere, how disheartening. The only Irken he could stand and he disappears. Zim snarls under hi breath, glaring at The Dib. If that worm baby hurt Zir he'd-

The clack of the door opening draws his attention.

[BANG]

That's the sound of his jaw hitting the desk. There Zir was, he looked more human than the ALMIGHTY ZIM!

"This class is Zir, the newest and hopeless addition to this class- huh?"

Zir hands her an apple, "This is a robot. It shoots darts at people you find annoying, since must be hard handling children."

[SLAM]

Zim fell off the chair. Ms. Bitters eyes the apple and sure enough it transforms into a little battle bot. She takes it and pats his head, "What a lovely gift, now go sit next to Zim."

Zir gives a little salute and walks smoothly to his seat after pulling Zim into his. He rolls his tongue back into his mouth and closes it. Zir chirps and pets his head. Zim growls but the whirling sound of Zir's apple bot shuts him up. Zir sits and looks across the room, startled by the creepy stare that Din is giving him. Letting his teeth be bared for second and he turns his attention back to .

"Doom...Doom...doom..."

-Zen I need to be entertained. Pleeeeeeease...-

His PAK whirls as two wires slide down his arms and controllers slips into his hands. His contacts become a gaming screen.

-I love being me-

-{+}-

Dib watches the new alien, Zir his name was. He gives an alien robot and she takes it without a second thought. Two Irkens, against one human. Normally he would nothing of it, unfortunately this new Irken knows what he's doing.

-Perfect...just perfect...-

Zir doesn't even look like he's paying attention, eyes moving and talons twitching. Zim seems tense, why is he so concerned? Dib rubs his temples, too much thinking about too many things. When the bell rings Zim drags Zir out and down the hall before Dib could follow. He growls and chases after them.

"Zim stop it! Let me go! Irk dammit let go!"

Dib peeks around the corner, Zim had an iron grip on Zir's wrist. Zir bares his teeth and barks out a command in some language Dib didn't understand. Zim lets go, backing away, "Easy Zir, no need to snap like that."

"YOU-! Me?! You little Irken RUNT! I may be younger but I will NOT let you drag me around like some Earth pet!"

Zim visibly flinches away, trying to calm the raging Irken.

"The Dib! You must keep quiet. Listen this once! And I am not SMALL!"

-{+}-

Zir spits angrily, Zim had interrupted his game and drags him around. He shudders turning his cold eyes on the wall. A contact falls to the ground.

"Do you ever shut up?"

Zim swallows, Zir's silent anger was far worse then his plain anger. But, the mighty ZIM will not submit foolishly, "We have to get back to the base, I-"

Zir wasn't listening anymore, he casts his cold fire towards Dib´s corner.

"Zim...just...shut up..."

A garbled snarl passes Zir's thin lips. Dib watches as the bright colors and spots in Zir's exposed eye disappear, becoming a pink disk of eerily dull and void of emotion. Zim squeaks as a fist slams near his head, heavy panting comes from the taller Irken. It takes five whole minutes for Zir to regain himself, opening his eyes. Thankfully the exposed one was back to normal.

"Zir, let's go to my base...come on!"

Zir submits, head low as he follows Zim down the alley.

"I hope you didn't stop taking your medicines..."

"I didn't...just missed a dose..."

Dib frowns fearfully, such deadly strength, he was in trouble. Zim was easy to keep up with, but Zir is something else entirely. If he had to fight against such a powerful enemy, he was screwed. Just a he go into a depressed spiral Zim yells at Zir.

-Huh?-

"WHAT?!"

"I won't assist in your delusional attempts to conquer this planet, I just want a quiet home...that's why I won't tell you where my base is. I don't trust you enough to leave my equipment alone. You are an unstable rocket. Remember what happened last time you TOUCHED my equipment?! YOU NEARLY BLEW A HOLE IN THE MASSIVE!"

Zir pushes past Zim, muttering in Irken. Zim grimaced and follows after the retreating back.

"It was an accident!"

-{+}-

By the time the two get to Zim's base, Zir had calmed down. Zen had been talking to him and his PAK pumped his missed dose into him slowly to keep him destroy Zim's base. The brain dead gnomes watch them as cross the yard to the front...door? Zir eyes the restroom door as the front door. Zim marches past him and opens the door, his roboparents almost makes Zir cry, laugh, and vomit at the same time.

"You are HORRIBLE at building, oh Irk! I'm getting sick just seeing this, Zim!"

The small Irken turns and watches Zir's face turn blue as nausea grips the tech's squeedily spooch viewing the ´disaster´ that is his base.

"Really...?"

Zir scowls at him, "Of course YOU would find this fine! You wouldn't know technology if bit you!"

"LIES!"

At that Zim lunges at Zir, how DARE he insult his work.

"YYYYEEAAAII-?!"

One of Zir's PAK legs shoot out and grab Zim in midair. Zir chuckles and flicks Zim across the room.

"An Elite beat by a lowly tech. How sad~"

Zim snarls and arches up like a cat.

»I'M RUNNING! I'M RUNNING! WEEEEEEE!«

Zir yelps and dives away as a disguised Gir erupts from the trashcan and runs outside. Robomom takes Zir inside and closes the door. Zim hisses in anger at Gir when the door closes.

"Stupid robot-"

If looks could kill Zim would be thousand times fried. Zir was livid at Zim, "At least you HAVE one! The Tallest DESTORYED Zen! You should relish in having Gir!"

Zim stares as Zir rants himself hoarse, never realizing till now what Red had meant.

-{+}-

:flashback:

"WHAT?! Why my Tallest?"

Zim's eyes were wide, Lekku rigid, did he hear right? Red rubs his antenna in irritation.

"He's heading your way, don't try to stop him."

"But my Tallest, why? Is it safe to send him here?"

Purple looked at Red before saying softly, "He can't stay here, he just-"

Red cuts in, "Zen is gone and he has no reason to stay here. We banished him."

Zim just stares at the screen, mouth open slightly, unable to register what had just been said. Purple and Red bow their heads a little, sorrow deep within them. Finally Red looks at Zim, liquid fire in his eyes.

"Zim it is your mission, by decree of your Tallest to protect Zir, he is important to the Empire, but is no longer safe with the Armada."

All Zim can do is salute to the Tallest and cut transmission. His antennae pressed firmly against his head.

"I will...protect you, Zir..."

-{+}-

"Irk to Zim! Hello? Stop staring like that it freaks me out!"

Zim swallows and shakes his head lightly turning his attention back to the tech. Zir's eyes were wide with worry.

"Oh good, I thought your PAK shorted out. Phew, don't do that again."

Zim does an overly exaggerated bow and says loudly, "Oh yes, my Tallest!"

Zir's face is dusted with lavender, the blush light but his Lekku were straight up and twitching. He pushes Zim with a growl. Zim looks down then around, awkward silence settles between them. Zir swallows and says, "I'll fix your gnome...well one of them."

He turns, fixing his antennae and contacts before walking outside. Gir comes in, covered in mud, »I have a hug in me~«

Zim screams and runs away to the underground lab. Zir takes out a few tools and idly chooses one of the gnomes, disabling it carefully. He opens it up and begins his tinkering, humming softly as he does.

»MASTER...I WAS ABLE GATHER SPARE PARTS OF MY UNIT BEFORE WE DISEMBARKED«

Zir blinks and whispers, "I'll look at them, but it would take a while to rebuild you, Zen. But I do want you back...my SIR..."

-{+}-

As days turn to weeks Dib doesn't know what to do about the new alien. He would shy away from almost everyone, especially Torque. Zim never left his side, never. Why was he so important to Zim, the once selfish Irken now watches over the timid and clearly unstable Zir.

"Hey what do you want?"

Dib looks up to see Zir, mumbling an apology to his...sister?! Eyes widen, terrified to see what Gaz would do. Zir fumbles with his words.

"What?" She snaps.

"Double down, left, right, B."

Confused, Dib looks down at Gaz, she was having trouble with certain level. She does as Zir whispered and sure enough she beats the boss level.

"How...?"

But Zir already was walking back to Zim and his lunch table. Gaz was speechless, amazed at Zir for knowing that. She looked back at Zir, who is listening to Zim yell at him with the ghost of a smile on his lips. He gives Zim something and he shuts up. Gaz calls, "Hey new kid, wanna play? My house after school, unless you're chicken."

Dib´s and Zim's jaw hit the table. Zir chirps and smirks, "Is that challenge~?"

"Oh yea!"

"See you there!"

Dib didn't wether to freak out or have a seizure, an alien at his house! Oh no!

-{+}-

Zir back and trills happily, Zim practically scream, "Are you stupid, insane, or want a death wish?! You're mad, or your PAK is malfunctioning...th-this is CRAZY!"

Zir just didn't even listen to him rant on, he was casually looking at Gaz. His beating organ sped up when she called him out, but he couldn't back down. Earth games fascinated him, a little primitive compared to his games. Maybe he could buil-

"That's it!"

His PAK opens a little and he pulls out his design pad. He could MAKE her something to play the games he had. Oh, this is going to be difficult, but Zir loved a challenge. Zim continues to yell at him as he draws.

-Zen, some music please.-

» AFFIRMATIVE«

The lull of music allow Zir to design the shell of the game pad. Soon he and Zen were talking about the parts to go into the pad. Zir's enthusiasm was cut short by the school bell. With a low growl he puts the pad away, but he looked up as Zim walked past to go outside.

-No way am I staying here-

He follows Zim outside, casting one last glance at Gaz. Dib gets in his line of vision and startles him into running after Zim in fright. Unfortunately for the two Irkens the sky was pouring it's acid.

"Disgusting dirt ball with all its fffffff-ilth. Ngh ger grah!"

Zir looks as Zim flails in anger, he just goes into PAK game mode. Sitting down he selects a piloting game on death mode; any touch of obstacles and game over. Zim meanwhile was spazzing all over the place, rolling and screaming. Dib thought of pushing Zir into the rain but Gaz was sitting next to Him.

"Whatcha playing?"

"Zen, full screen."

The game screen goes from behind his contacts to holoscreen, Gaz was amazed. She didn't show it though, "What game is this?"

"I made it off a piloting simulation, you like it?"

"Its cool."

A happy purr rumbles deep in Zir's throat, he dodges the debris of the space craft that crashed into an asteroid.

"Wow."

"Yea, I made it's AI chip myself. Not one course is the same."

Pride tingles through his antennae at subtle complement. He glances at her for a moment before firing on an incoming asteroid and destroying it. The awe in her eyes peak Zir's interest, he enjoys having her attention. Dib frowns slightly at Zir who has his sister's attention. He just shoves Zim over the wall and watches him burn, a low chuckle comes from him, but he booted over the edge as well. Turning he glares up, it was Zir, he used a PAK leg to push him over. Gaz laughs and the two return to their game. Zim stomps up to Dib and slashes him across the face, knocking off his glasses and walking back to the 'safety' of school. It takes Dib ten minutes to find his glasses. Torque kicks him in side, "Watch it freak."

Zir perks up and looks at Torque leaving Dib in a ball, shaking. Swallowing, he pauses his game, flicks up his hood and carefully walks over to Dib. Oh the pain! Zir grits his teeth and helps Dib up, only to be pushed away.

"I don't need your help."

"Dib!"

It was Gaz, oh no, she was angry! Zir steps in front of her, "It's ok, it's a dignity thing, just tell him be. Let's go back to the game."

He leads her back to the steps, wincing a little. Only a little water got on him, but oh Irk did it HURT! Sure it's not nearly as painful as getting an antenna pulled or cut. A shudder runs runs through him as he puts his hood down, the burning ceases and their game continues. By the time the bell rings, Gaz had beat his high score.

"H-how...did you do that?"

Gaz squares she shoulders, "I am the gamer Queen, nice try but I'll beat all your scores."

Zir frowns but trills, another challenge! He stands and walks down the stairs, "Well the rain stopped, I refuse to stay here any longer, so see you at the house."

With that he waves and leaves, walking with a little bounce in step. Gaz looks at the door, "Hmmm..."

-{+}-

When school lets out Zim sprints out with Dib on his heels, "Leave me alone pig-smelly! Leave ZIM alone!"

"Where's my sister Zim?! I know you did something to her!"

"Your big head is WRONG, it was YOU who took Zir!"

Zim rounds the corner towards Dib´s house, "Leave Zim alone!"

"Hi guys, whatcha doing?"

""ZIR?!""

"Hi."

end chap. 1.


End file.
